MENTAL MATURITY

I experienced a program that helped me grow mentally. It was presented to us by Christopher Walton. He's been a part of the Department of Corrections for decades, and you couldn't tell. His energy was infectious, and he treated the forty-plus men like equals.

Mr. Walton broke down the program by utilizing a fictionalized kid named Paulie Smith. Paulie was abused, neglected, had no father, an alcoholic mother, and had criminal behavior. Those issues led him to sell drugs, then eventually heading to prison for 20 years.

Now the mental maturity age of Paulie was that of a 16-year-old. He was in prison acting out. He refused to take programs. He didn't work. He just rotted away for 10 years. At 30, he had the mental maturity of a 19-year-old. For the next 10 years, he continued on this trajectory, walking out of prison at 40 years old, but with a 26-year-old mental maturity.

Back in society, he was in a halfway house, because his mother saw that he hadn't grown up. Paulie ran into a friend, and asked the friend to introduce him to a woman. The friend hooked him up, and a phone call was made, but on someone else's cellphone, because Paulie had no money. The conversation was short, because he didn't know how to speak as an adult.

Date night arrived, and he met Tina, a 40-year-old woman. Paulie sauntered in, going on and on about how sexy her feet were. Tina told him, "You don't act like a 40-year-old." Paulie responded by calling her the "B" word. Tina stormed out.

Back in his neighborhood, he ran into his friend again, saying Tina wasn't mature enough for him. He asked for another hookup. The friend obliged him. This time the date was with Monica, a 36-year-old.

They met for dinner and Paulie was all over her, calling her sexy, expressing how amazing her outfit was. Monica looked at him and asked, "Do you have a job?" Paulie replied, "I'm in between jobs." "What does that mean?" Paulie, with his 26-year-old mental maturity, called her the "C" word, which had her get up and leave.

Broke, he spent what little he had on the meal, and had to walk home. He saw his friend and told him Monica too was immature. He eventually got a job, then met Lee, a 21-year-old, with a 20-year-old mental maturity. She took all his compliments, and never told Paulie she had a boyfriend named Marcus. They started dating, and all Paulie was doing was spending his money on her. When he tried sleeping with Lee, she told him one lie after the next and he went for it, because he was excited to have somebody.

Soon the money was gone, and he was single again. He started thinking of ways to get money. His mental maturity led him to his criminal behavior. He robbed stores and eventually was apprehended. Back in prison again, he realized the reality of his situation, and now has to grow up.

This program woke me up to see that as someone of 48 years of age, what was my mental maturity? We were given a homework assignment, as a way of finding out from those I trust what my mental maturity was. I had some ages thrown out, and none of them were in my twenties. I smiled.

Now as I did smile, I dived into mental maturity with some great people, and we pulled on different reasons why our mental maturity changed. How? In discussions on money, drug and alcohol abuse, and having fun.

Each one made you look at yourself in a new light. By doing this, you had a chance to see where you were mentally. I for one needed that, because even as I'm nearing my 50s, I wanted to think as one.

Programs like Mental Maturity are necessary, especially when you have 40-plus incarcerated men locking in on how to grow themselves. Mr. Walton asked us our age, then our mental maturity age. He also inquired from the men who knew us if we were telling the truth or not. I gave my age, then my mental maturity age, and he questioned the men if they agreed? One of my friends answered, "No, Tut is 70 years old mentally." I had to laugh, because I'm an old soul.

Now we did have a few men who were saying craziness: one man said he was a 1000 years old, then left when he learned we have to sing. Yes, a song. The Bazooka Bubblegum Song.

I'll admit this, and I mean it: when I read the song, I shook my head, because it's so corny. But once Mr. Walton started singing, you lost yourself in the moment. Another song followed and we were singing it loud and proud.

As the program closed, Mr. Walton asked us to bring a friend the next time he came. I sure will.

I've participated in programs late into my incarceration, but this one will never leave me. Mr. Walton transformed lives by caring, and due to that, I'm going to care enough and get the word out about his great work.

Matter of fact, find five people and ask them about your mental maturity, then average the score, and divide it by five. If you love the score, keep it, if not, get to work on making the necessary changes in your life. Oh yeah, my mental maturity age was 48.