MyTimeToBlog
As you evolve in prison, you tend to notice the men that don't. Yesterday I had an up close and personal look at a man who's spent decades behind the wall, and what I saw bothered me. You see, we had to cut grass, so we waited by the dumpsters for our supervisor.
As we soaked in the sun, the old convict with me began unbuttoning his shirt. He's in great shape, and I guess wanted to show off his abs. While doing so on the boulevard where administration was out, working. I noticed a few high-ranking officers approaching and warned the old con. He mouthed off, "They don't want any of this" as he buttoned up his dress blues.
Now we have a dress code, one where we're supposed to have our shirts tucked in. Our pants not to sag, and most incarcerated men follow this. Most. It's an act of rebellion, no, more so, monkey see, monkey do. The old con hangs with the young men in prison, not as a mentor, more so as a buddy.
He again has been in prison for 42 years. He gave up going to Lawrenceville Correction Center, where incarcerated men who are parole-eligible get a chance to work on attaining their freedom. Many of the men transitioned their lives there for a second chance. The old con didn't. He griped about the facility being a trap for those who'll never get out. So, when he found a decent job at Nottoway Correction Center, he stayed.
I've been around the old con for almost two years. In that time, I learned how he is: a man who hasn't attained a GED, who's infraction free (no institutional charges) in decades, nor thinks like a man of his 60-plus years of living. He'll head out to the weight pit and work out, but placing him in an environment where he has to show his outlook on life, you'll learn about country living; crops, fixing cars, and relaxing on the porch with his dogs.
I've spoken with him about getting parole. He said he's done what he had to, but those double-digit turns down at parole hearings say otherwise. I watched him avoid utilizing a tablet because he's ill-equipped to use one. Shoot, he doesn't even own one, because he chose not to.
He has family because I've seen him on the phone. But he has been inside for 42 years. He is a product of the system. Why? How the hell do you continue to slip through a system for 42 years without attaining a GED? How? I don't see a learning disability from him, due to him utilizing floor buffers, and teaching others how to operate them. I don't know if that means anything. So maybe he doesn't care anymore about getting an education? Maybe he needs help and doesn't know how to ask for it. There are so many variables to consider, but his attitude has shown me that he doesn't care. How? Again, yesterday.
We were outside and he untucked his clothing as the major showed up. He asked the old con to fix his attire, then started walking. The major turned and said, "Get your clothes right." The con replied, "I hear you." But he didn't do anything. I'm watching like a tennis match, wondering if the con would fix himself. The major turned around again, and the con saw him looking so he fixed his attire.
When the major was gone, the con untucked his clothing. He said, "He thinks I'm going to listen to him." I shook my head because an act of defiance over a shirt doesn't make any sense, but I'm not him.
I sat in my cell, wondering how the system let him continue down a path to nowhere. Forty-two years of incarceration, and his outlook today was not tucking in his shirt because he wants to be defiant. This old con is in his 60s and that's what he chooses. I shook my head, but after I saw what I saw, I got back to work on getting the hell out of prison.
Prison has its issues--we all do, but remember, it's a choice on how you choose to deal with them. Tuck in your shirt, it's that simple.